I am terrible at being a girl

Growing up as a barefoot tomboy ensured that I would never be a girly-girl, and it’s true.

Makeup…who needs it?  Since I don’t wear much—which earns disapproving glances from my mother (YES, YOU, MOM.)—I don’t even really know how to apply it.  And when I’m forced to wear makeup, I remove it as soon as possible.  (After my television appearance on Monday, I rushed back to the hotel and immediately washed my face.)  My hair?  Yeah, it’s an unruly mane, and what I do to “fix” it takes maybe ten minutes (partly because, as aforementioned, it’s an unruly mane, but mostly because I’m lazy).  Clothes?  I’d love to wear what I’m wearing now—old jeans, Keds, and a giant, comfortable flannel shirt—all the time.  I hate shopping.  I hate heels.  My one redeeming quality, however, is that I do like dresses.

Not to give the impression that I’m boyish—I’m not.  I’m just lazy.  And.  Yeah.  Not sure how to make this sound any better.

Anyway, what prompted this confession was my visit to the nail salon today.  My first-ever manicure/pedicure, an experience prompted by my persistent favorite aunt.

Now, I’m not saying it was the worst experience of my life.  The lady whose misfortune was to work on my feet was really sweet, and it was kind of nice to be pampered.  But it took three hours.  THREE.  HOURS.  Not even really sure why, but it did.  And I guess it was worth it, because my nails look awesome and my feet look better.

But, alas, within the first five minutes out of the salon (this is for real.  It was probably LESS than five minutes)…I destroyed my pedicure.

Destroyed.

Pedicure.

DESTROYED.

I was distraught—did I really just spend three hours of my life and that much of my aunt’s money only to ruin the product of the pedicure?!

RAWR.

But then I realized: “Nobody will be looking at your feet.”  (Except for Leonardo Da Vinci, for those of you awesome people who have seen “Ever After” aka the best Cinderella movie ever.)  And, also, my aunt smudged the paint on her toes, too.  SO IT’S ALL GOOD.

* * * * *

En route to Austin… My best friend, Lizzie, and I are in the backseat working on either schoolwork or, hey, this blog, and my mom and her sister are busy being the same person.  Mom thought that these were yaks, but it turns out that they are actually highland cattle from Scotland…

IMG_6421

HELLO, WORLD!!!! … Ahem…

Aren’t the yaks (“highland cattle” AKA Scottish term for yak) wonderful?  They were actually kind of scary at first because I was under the false impression that Miss Jessica Faith’s mother was going to have us get out of the car and, you know, actually take a picture WITH the yaks.  Thank God I was mistaken.

So, here we are sitting in a rather sketchy hotel somewhere Texas.  At any rate, we’re all on our various electronic devices (Faith’s happens to be a hair dryer at the moment, which has afforded me the opportunity to abduct her lovely blog *insertevillaughshere* HELLO, ALL!  JESSICA’S BEST FRIEND HERE! Yeah… So…

Is anyone else super STOKED that Jessica is opening for the singer of AVICII’S “WAKE ME UP!” on Friday night?!  Oh my GOODNESS… Perhaps she will be discovered! (Well, not that she isn’t already, but even moreso, you know.)

OH WOW her hair is looking LOVELY right now…  XD  She has since abandoned the hair dryer.  I’m starting to ramble…

She now says “I am frightened… Lizzie…”  Like she thinks I would tell all of you something incredibly embarrassing like the time she… well, never mind. DON’T BE GIVIN ME THAT LOOK, GIRLLL!  THERE AIN’T NOTHING TO SEE HERE! *purposefullyusesterriblegrammarjusttoaggitateher*

Because it seems like a pillow fight will break out at any moment now, I shall take my leave.  GOODBYE, BLOG WORLD!

-Lizzie (AKA best friend of the lovely Jessica Faith)

… Why is there a dent in this ceiling… Okay I’m really leaving this time.  Bye!

* * * * *

And, yes, world.  That wonderful creature is my best friend.

Perhaps tomorrow you’ll be introduced to the other members of this party, my mother and my aunt…

BE AFRAID.  BE VERY AFRAID.

-Jessica Faith

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3 Comments

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  1. I’m with you, Jessica, on the jeans and Keds and comfort factor….knock ’em out in Austin! Very proud of you!

  2. I have no words except Lizzie has totally just won the world over. 😀

    I can only imagine what your mom would say if you let her take the reigns on this. Have fun in Austin!

  3. You and your friend both are just weird……….

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